By 
I’m writing this for the rest of you in your twenties who, like me, have no idea what you want to do with the rest of your life. Being realistic I wanted to be a thousand different people. I mean, who doesn’t want to be Harvey Specter in Suits, a walking, talking, kick-ass lawyer who makes things happen. Do. Or what girl hasn’t dreamed of living the life of his favorite actress, model or songwriter. The problem with our twenties is this, we’re not into the movies. Chances are you’ll spend your twenties broke, but okay, at some point in his life, Dwayne Johnson had seven dollars to his name and Eric Thomas lived on the streets of Detroit, now look at them. We may not be in the movies, but we surely have our own script that hasn’t been written yet, but the problem is, where do we start?
Sitting here writing this gives me a new respect for film artists, who create an entire world in their mind and cast it on film. I find it quite difficult to create my own. It was Zig Ziglar who said, “we are designed for success” and “you have greatness within you.” Do I think this is true? Absolutely. I think we all have an unwritten path that we always knew we would travel, but the distractions of life have overtaken us a thousand other paths that we jump from time to time.
Take high school for example, there are some who go to high school, sometimes even middle school with a destiny. You have Sally Smarts and Gerry Genius, who will be doctors and nurses like their parents. On the other side of the card, you have Johnny Jiggers who knows that he wants to be an ironworker because he can’t stand school, homework or teachers. Then there are the unlucky ones who have been cheated throughout their lives and never made it past high school because the smoke pit was the most important part to them. My question has always been this, where does this leave me?
Where I come from, if you build houses, become a crab fisherman or drink bud light you are on the right track, some would say. Of course I love where I come from and I love all those fishermen, woodpeckers and beer drinkers. In fact, I’ve become a carpenter myself and drink bud light. It was just one of those paths that had already been traveled for me. It was like a bike path that you could walk along without tripping over branches or getting your legs ripped by undergrowth. it was comfortable. But, I want to jump off this path and jump onto mine. I want to feel my shoes fill with water, the undergrowth ripping at my legs and tripping over some branches and splitting open a couple of times because I know I’ll find what I’m looking for in the end. I won’t find it here on this road, I’ll find what my dad found, he’s a carpenter and he drinks Bud light, I’ll find a routine. I love my father, and his work ethic is second to none and I have always respected it. But even he told me I’m destined for more.
At twenty-three, I’ve made as many mistakes as you can possibly make. I want to list them for all of you just so you know you’re not alone but I’m not sure if I’ve already told all of them to my family actually I know I haven’t I don’t want to dig my grave here. But despite all those mistakes, I’m here, writing this because even those mistakes and those well-trodden paths that promised comfort couldn’t keep me from what I really want, which are answers, what will I do with the rest? of my life?
Like you, I have dreams. Not all of us are going to invent our own app and make millions. But more importantly, we are going to find out what we want, what we desire, because we deserve more. To name a few, I have wanted to be a police officer, a heart surgeon, a carpenter (believe it or not), a lawyer, a dentist, and have thought about joining the military several times, specifically after reading the novel, “American Sniper” by Chris Kyle. The problem with most of my ambitious career choices is this, almost all of them have been handed to me in my mind as the “perfect career” by an outside source. Let me explain. When I first saw Grey’s Anatomy, I was determined to be Preston Burke, the number one heart surgeon in the country who never loses his cool and has it all figured out. After watching Criminal Minds or Homeland, working my way up to a detective seemed tempting and he looked just like me.
I know what you’re thinking! Surely, you may be able to do one of these things, maybe all of them. But it has to be because I want to, not because I like the idea of life that I see on Netflix, which is scripted and designed to appeal to people like me.
Honestly, my novelty is wanting to travel the world. Maybe I am looking for my niche in a career and a routine path when my Everest is waiting for me in Bangladesh working on a rice farm and meeting the locals, who knows?
A friend once told me, “Imagine you’re in the woods with a bow and arrow aimed at a target. You see the target clearly, you breathe slower, you tighten the line, you can hear yourself breathing, so hold still, you’re ready.” Then a gust of wind sends a thousand leaves around your target and you lose sight of it, but you shoot anyway and miss.” This is what I’ve done all my life. I’ve spent my life shooting at the leaves, not at the target. I don’t think people fail because they aim high and miss, I think they fail because they aim low and hit.
What I am saying is this. So far I’ve been to college, dropped out, twice actually. I have worked on a busy downtown street where I live as a doorman for a few years. I have unloaded fishing boats more times than I care to count. I have been a waiter and have served and hosted in many restaurants. I ran a comedy club called ‘Yuk Yuks’ for a year before it closed (which I obviously wasn’t involved in) and of course I’ve worked off and on as a carpenter since I was sixteen, which I’m currently doing. now. I will not drag you down the dark path when I worked in a fish plant. No problem. But it’s important to keep in mind that most of the time later in life you will only regret the things you didn’t do, not the things you did and failed at.
Some would say that I have wasted the last six or so years out of high school just wandering through life. I tell them, “I was exploring my options.” That usually throws a sock at it. I mean not many have an answer to that. I was a kid coming out of high school with the world ready to devour me, and he did. However, now I know something that I didn’t when I was a young punk who didn’t grow facial hair (yes, I was the baby face of the class). I found out what I don’t want. I don’t want to just wake up every day, just make time. Going to the same job, same pay, seeing the same faces, absolutely miserable because I didn’t take the time to figure out what my passion was. It erodes your self-esteem, and I think if you live a life like that, something in you dies, and I’m not sure you’ll ever get it back.
The last six years have been some of the best and worst years of my life. It includes the loss of my mother, the loss of my grandfather, who was my best friend, falling completely in and out of love with a girl I told people I would spend my life with, and making about thirty thousand dollars in debt. . I mean, life will catch you on the blind side and you won’t be ready. I wasn’t ready. Just relax, accept and move on. Les Brown once said in a speech, “Don’t judge your chances based on where your life is right now. Where your life is right now isn’t you, it’s just what it is right now.” I think what he means is that at some point we’ve all been just “doing time”, but just make sure it’s a springboard to something bigger and better, not a lifetime.
For those of you who don’t know, Joe Frazier was a world class fighter, he had a record of 32-4, with 27 wins by knockout. They called him “Smokin Joe.” You never expect boxers to make profound statements, but he said: “At some point in your life, you’re going to be like the blind man, sitting at the corner lights, waiting for someone to come and help us across.” Sometimes we just want someone to hold our hand. I remember being that blind man, I remember how much more clearly I saw things when I had finally forgiven myself for where I had put myself in life. Don’t be too quick to throw in the towel. You’re going to make it to the next round.
The irony is that becoming that blind man helped me see more than I had ever seen. One of the greatest tragedies to date, in my opinion, is this. Many of us confuse what we do with who we are. My point is, when did becoming the next Steve Jobs become more important than keeping doors open and standing up for what’s right? Or when was the last time you did something without any expectation of receiving something in return? We have forgotten where we come from, we have forgotten who we are, in the desperate battle to know what it is that we want to do. I know I did, for a long time.
The moment you find yourself, you will find the answers. But knowing what I know now, one thing I’d love to have had the opportunity to say to my seventeen-year-old self, about to jump into her twenties is this. Don’t lose the child in you. Children dream, out loud. When I was a kid, no one could tell me I wasn’t going to be the next Wayne Gretzkey, because I believed I could do it, and as we get older, the inner child is taken away from us through life experience. We let someone stick a finger in our face and tell us we’re not good enough. Most of the time it’s us, doing it to ourselves in the mirror. We lose our ability to dream.
In addition to the rest of this great knowledge that I am sharing with you, you should know this. Stay away from negative people. Les Brown once said, “Some people are so negative that if they walked into a dark room they would start developing.” As clever and humorous as this is, he’s right. Some people just don’t want the best for you, actually a lot of them want the worst for you and they hate to see you get ahead. Birds of a feather flock together. You run with negative people, sooner or later you will become one. Don’t let them take away your power, your drive. Hold your vision and focus on what is yours for the taking. you’re worth it
If you take any of this, you should know that whatever you want, whatever you dream of, is yours, it is possible. I know your parents or someone you care about has told you this over and over again. But I’m telling you, I’m in my twenties, right next to you, and it’s true. This world is ours for the taking, we are the future. I once heard a line in a song called “Old Before Your Time” by Ray Lamontagne and it said this. “There is nothing in the world sadder than talking to a man who never knew his life was his.”
I could make a list of two hundred things NOT to do in your twenties, but I think the truth is between the lines here. I still have no idea what I’ll do, but I know I’ll never settle. I will chase whatever is waiting for me because I believe that whatever you are looking for is also looking for you. But do not become a “single” person, these people stay in the past. Have you ever come across one of those? These people are going around saying, “I used to do this, I used to do that, or I used to be this.” Excuse me, but “used bees” don’t make honey.
Go out and find your way and never forget to have fun doing it. Never lose who you are, where you come from and the goods you are made of, that person will save your ass. Life works in funny ways and I think if you take responsibility to make this your year, to go out and get on with life, I think the universe is on your side. Goal. If you happen to end up being a bud light drinking carpenter, don’t panic, we’re only in our twenties.