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As I thought about the subject of this article, my first thought, for some unknown and insane reason, was the now infamous interview that Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Namath gave Suzy Kolber during an NFL game ago. several years.
Clearly drunk, or “in a cast,” Broadway Joe had started the interview by commenting on the performance of New York Jets quarterback Chad Pennington.
But in response to Ms. Kolber’s follow-up question, she burst out with “I want to kiss you.” Interestingly enough, Suzy handled the ruckus with poise … she even looked like she was having a bit of fun.
Now, shortly after this crazy moment happened before millions on live television, Namath solemnly apologized for his actions on ESPN. Of course.
However, here’s the thing. The alcohol involved here probably only served to unleash his inhibitions regarding saying such a thing on national television, and at a particularly … um … inopportune moment.
In reality, TO SAY IT, however, was purely her nature.
Anyone familiar with Joe Namath’s style knew deep down that he was probably just himself. After all, he has been playing this kind of “direct play” with women off camera for more than 45 years.
The guy has been known to have TONS of women since LONG before he was the hero of Super Bowl III.
So what can you learn from a drunken soccer legend? And better yet, what can be learned from a sports reporter’s carefree handling of his outspoken flirtation?
Well obviously I’m 100% with you in agreeing that there is A LOT A LOT you can learn NOT to do.
BUT … there is also a VERY KEY principle at play which is a hidden pearl of wisdom. And that’s what I want to mark.
Simply put, if flirting is INCORPORATED INTO YOUR PERSONALITY as part of your LIFESTYLE, then women know better not to assume that their potential “rejection” wields any real power.
Consider that statement for a moment, because it is quite heavy.
Essentially, if his HABIT is to tease women and show attraction freely, then it’s hard for a woman to REALLY KNOW FOR SURE how significant her interest is at first, isn’t it?
And this keeps YOU in control of your interactions with women and acts as a very real buffer against having to deal with “rejection.”
But most men have made flirting an EXCEPTIONAL BEHAVIOR rather than a LIFESTYLE HABIT, and thus they run out of male leadership power every time they interact with a woman.
Let me explain how this works against us and why it is important.
If you, like most men, tiptoe through life worried about “offending” women by showing any interest in them, then you are essentially setting yourself up to be a self-fulfilling walking prophecy.
I mean, if it’s UNUSUAL for you to ever show interest in a woman, as long as you REALLY DO, it will turn out to be a pretty serious deal … for you and the woman alike.
He will have had to put himself and his words together, and put it all together for the “big moment.”
What does this? Naturally, it puts the woman in TOTAL CONTROL of the situation and you are literally at her mercy.
She may be thinking, “Oh wow … this guy REALLY likes me. I have to give a serious answer here.”
And in fact, that’s where you will have LEDs in this scenario. You hang around, waiting to see how she reacts.
Of course, it may or may not give you a favorable response. But the fact remains the same: Most men treat flirting as VERY SERIOUS, and this puts women in the “hot seat” every time.
Ironically, she is IN CHARGE, and there she DOES NOT WANT to be in these situations.
Compare this scenario with the Broadway Joe example above. Even in the context of a big TV blunder in the making, you could tell from Suzy Kolber’s reaction that she was giving her a kind of “free pass.”
Of course, she’s a pro when it comes to streaming, so she can think pretty quickly.
But as the conversation unfolded, you could almost FEEL imagining the phrase, “Yeah right Joe. I bet you’ll tell EVERY GIRL that that.” And I guess about 75% of the audience was thinking the exact same thing.
That’s right. Because, in fact, “he says that to all the girls.”
Now I’m NOT going to tell you to “go and do like Joe Namath” to the extent that you get drunk and say things on TV that require apologies later. And I’m not even going to suggest a “direct game” like walking up to random women and telling them you want to kiss them, necessarily.
In fact, for real-world purposes, think of “lifestyle flirtation” more in terms of funny, hilarious jokes.
But what I’m going to do is ask you to consider the amazing message that is conveyed when a woman utters the magic phrase, “I bet you say that to ALL GIRLS.”
Do you think for a second that Namath gives a rat rump whether Suzy Kolber kisses him or not? Do you think his girlfriend has already made it in his mind? Married to her? Did you make babies with her?
That series of quick questions got more ridiculous as I went on, huh?
Bottom line, if you can become COMFORTABLE with flirting as a LIFESTYLE, then rejection is OFF THE TABLE.
Rather than cede unconditional power to women, your casual, even NON-SELECTIVE, attitude toward interacting with MOTORCYCLES (members of the opposite sex) returns control to YOU.
As such, women are left at a mysterious loss as to whether or not you would REALLY “select” her if you had the chance or not.
You are seen as a man who appreciates ALL great women, therefore you exhibit ZERO despair or fear of losing.
When you can see flirting, or even interaction with women of ANY type, that way EVERYTHING CHANGES.
Rather than singling out women for flirting, if you can free yourself to playfully tease MOST women wherever you go, you’ll reach “critical mass” before you know it.
And it’s wild when you start to see the effects of this “lifestyle flirtation” manifest.
Instead of women feeling INDIVIDUAL when you flirt with them, they’ll feel LEFT when you DON’T.
That’s right … the women you flirt with will no longer be in the “hot seat”. Instead, the women you will NOT want.
Again, a word of caution: we’re not necessarily talking about as open an approach as the Broadway Joe example. All you do here is just start conversations and interact in a fun way.
And I’m not an irrational guy. I can’t wait to “flip a switch” and make this lifestyle change overnight.
But I am going to challenge you to stretch beyond your comfort zone the next time you find yourself in a social situation where you have the ability to meet new women and feel FREE to interact with anyone or even all of them, now realizing that MORE women he enjoys interacting with, LESS telegraph “prequalification” to any of them.
Try it and be amazed.
And I guess you probably don’t want to stop there.