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If you are on the path to better healing your Inner Child, I have found it helpful to understand the three classic mistakes that get people into trouble when working to heal their Inner Child relationship.
First, I’ll define these errors by giving you some background and examples of what they look like. This will help you recognize them in your own life. Then I’ll compare and contrast them with an external relationship example that everyone can relate to.
Healing the relationship with your Inner Child is certainly more subtle and difficult to achieve than you think at first. Understanding these classic traps will help you, as the Inner Parent, to increase love and joy with your Inner Child.
These are the three classic mistakes that it is recommended to avoid:
- not even know you have an Inner Child in the first place.
- You do not listens to your Inner Child.
- You do not respond appropriately to your Inner Child.
Any one of these three mistakes, or a combination of them, usually creates all the difficulties that most people will need to overcome in order to heal their relationship with the Inner Child.
Classic Inner Child Healing Mistake #1:
Not knowing you have an inner child in the first place
Think about it! You can’t really heal your Inner Child if you don’t know you have one or if you don’t really believe there is such a thing as an “Inner Child”. So let me be clear on this point.
Everyone has an inner child! This means YOU, even if you think you don’t have one, or even if you’ve never heard of the concept of an “Inner Child” in your life.
In case this is new to you, the way you would learn to recognize your Inner Child is as one half of the ongoing internal dialogue that goes on inside your mind, which I call your Internal conversations. These internal conversations take place inside your mind from morning to night, and no, you’re not crazy.
Every normal person has these inner conversations, and you can actually learn to slow them down and work with them directly. If you listen carefully to your thoughts, you will hear two different voices interacting with each other.
A voice, I call the internal father. This comes from the parenting style you received as a child. The way your parents raised you is copied and installed in your mind like a computer program and becomes the basis for how you think about and interact with the world. Traditional psychology would call this the ego.
The other side of your internal conversations, the voice we call the inner child, comes from who you were as a child, even though you are now an adult. For most people, this is a more important aspect of their total being than they might realize.
Just like Outer Children have different moods and personalities, so does your Inner Child. Your Inner Child can present his voice as a quiet little whisper; or it can be the loud and boisterous part of you that everyone knows.
Most people could also identify their Inner Child as their “feelings” or the “intuitive” part of their inner conversations that are constantly going on inside their mind. Another description often used by writers and artists to represent the Inner Child is that of a person. heart.
Sometimes, in the mainstream media, you can hear skeptics belittled or comedians make jokes about people blaming their “inner child” for their character flaws as if it’s inconsequential.
This tends to diminish the importance and value of this inner voice, which is a big mistake because if your Inner Child is not happy, then you cannot be happy as a person, which is why one would want to dedicate themselves to healing the Child. Interior in the first place. You’ll have to trust me on this.
Classic Inner Child Healing Mistake #2:
Not listening to your inner child
Suppose you may be someone who is aware that you have a personality called the Inner Child within you. You have heard about it, read some books, or even attended some seminars or trainings on the subject. With the second classic error, these people are simply not to listen to this precious and important side of themselves, even when they know this voice exists!
Your Inner Child is the intuitive self. It tries to warn you when you are about to make a gigantic mistake in a life choice or perhaps in an external relationship. Part of its function may show up as the hairs standing on the back of your neck or a deep sense of impending doom that you ignore at your peril. After “not listening” to such communication, a person will often say: “I knew I shouldn’t have done that” or “I just didn’t listen to myself.”
Another aspect of your Inner Child is that it provides the clues to your deep inner needs, so it often communicates directly about what would make you happy. Alternatively, perhaps it is providing you with some clues that will move your life forward in a positive direction.
So when you get a clear and direct message from your Inner Child and you’re just not listening, you’re ignoring the advice and advice of the best friend you have. Not paying much attention to these internal messages provided for your well-being; wow, that’s crazy!
Classic Inner Child Healing Mistake #3:
Not responding appropriately to your inner child
Many people know that they have an Inner Child, and some are even listening and listening what you have to say So it really is a shame when these same people make the third big mistake of not responding properly.
Why does this get them in trouble? Let me give you an easy to understand example using an external relation that will illustrate the three errors. Then it will be up to you to start doing the necessary work to begin to heal your relationship with the Inner Child.
Let’s use the familiar example of the “Friend/Friend” relationship for comparison. Since it’s an “external relationship”, it will be easier for you to relate to.
Suppose your best friend makes the suggestion, “Let’s go to the movies.” Error 1 would mean you didn’t even know you had a best friend. This may seem silly to you, not knowing you have a best friend, but some people are unaware that they have an inner child, so which one is worse?
Error 2 in this external situation would be not even listening to your friend’s suggestion. You know you have a friend. Perhaps you were simply not paying attention at the time or were distracted by another situation. Even though your friend has communicated clearly to you, for some reason you just don’t listen to what he’s saying.
There can be many reasons for this, of course, but the end result is the same. What your friend has said or asked is simply not being received into the awareness of your Inner Father mind. Also, your friend will feel hurt because you didn’t pay attention.
To illustrate the third error, let’s start with what an appropriate response for your friend WOULD be. How about something like “Okay, what movie would you like to see?” or “Okay, what day were you thinking about?” This appropriate response shows that:
- You were aware that you had a friend and he/she was talking to you.
- You were paying attention to what your friend had to say.
- You cared enough about your friend to respond appropriately by asking a question or comment, perhaps just listening in an accepting way.
Now, we are going to illustrate a inappropriate response. Suppose you heard what your friend said, but then you didn’t respond at all. This would be hurtful to your friend because he would feel ignored.
Let’s say you said to your friend, “I’m too busy to hang out with you and waste time going to the movies.” This certainly wouldn’t feel very good either. What if you responded with something even more hurtful like, “You idiot, I wouldn’t get caught dead going to the movies with you if you were the last person on earth.”
To put a simple view of these latest communications, responding inappropriately to your Inner Child (and yes, even your outer friend) would fall under both categories of Neglect Prayed Abuse.
I’m sure you’ve experienced your own variations of neglect and abuse in your external relationships, so you KNOW what it feels like to be on the receiving end of this type of behavior. So why would you want to do this to your precious Inner Child? How do you think it feels to be neglected or abused?
Conclution
Think about this “outer relationship” example (Friend/Friend) and then see if you can reinterpret it into the “inner relationship” between your Inner Parent and Inner Child. You’ll start to see the many ways you could be making these three classic mistakes without even realizing it.
You could learn so much more on this topic, and in fact, I’ve spent over 30 years researching and presenting ways to become more aware as an Inner Parent so YOU TOO can avoid these three classic parenting mistakes.