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You have to admit that the Bible contains great stories. When I was a kid, I thought a lot about these stories and wondered how they could happen, but since it was the Bible and God himself had written them over a long weekend, I never thought they might not have happened.
From a talking snake in the Garden of Eden, to a guy named Jonah who spent three days and three nights in the belly of a big fish, wow … it was all very good!
I always envisioned Jonah sitting on the fish’s stomach on a three-legged stool that he swallowed earlier in the day, around a small campfire that he made to sit on and think about how he got into this mess. I loved imagining what it must have felt like to throw up on the shore, but never wondered how the “whale” got close enough to carry him to the beach. I guess it was a vomiting projectile or something from the fish. You know, kind of like the guy who got shot out of a cannon. Anyway, a great story and it was a reminder to me that if you’re ever on a cruise, don’t piss off the crew, but they taught me it was a story about Jesus in the grave. Theologians call it the “Sign of Jonah,” which is this story or the fact that Nineveh repented, depending on which Gospel you read. Too bad Jonah isn’t here today for another trip to Iraq. He seems to have had the ability to make people change their bad ways. Ninevah. after all, it is on the other side of the Mosul River in Iraq.
Anyway, I always liked talking animal stories. As a kid I would look at my dog and ask him, when no one was looking of course if he could speak and just choose not to. We had a lot of those looks where I was pretty sure he could speak, but he was teasing me with his silence. I felt that when I turned my back on him, he stuck his tongue out at me and smiled like a human, just for a moment. If he had walked away, I might not have felt that way, but when I looked at him, he looked back and looked at me as I looked at him. I knew he was thinking about whether or not he should throw a well-formulated prayer at me and then never do it again, just so I would know I could. He held onto his secret his whole life. But still he knew he could speak if he wanted to. Animals did speak in the Bible after all, so it can’t be something unique, just a less chosen option.
Here’s a great story that I thought was really true. It’s about the false prophet, Balaam, who was told to curse the Israelites on their wanderings in the desert, but he always ended up blessing them, or something like that. It then went on to become a symbol of all that was bad in other parts of the book. But Balaam at least knew what I knew. Animals can talk and it is not something that anyone should doubt.
Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey, and went with the princes of Moab. But God was very angry when he left, and the angel of the LORD stood in the way to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, it turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat her to get back on the road. “
So here it is obvious that donkeys can pick up the vibrational frequencies at which the Angels of the Lord move, but humans cannot. How cool is that! This explains to me why my cat can be calm for a minute and then run around the apartment looking up and down and then run somewhere else looking at the wall. That cat is seeing Angels of the Lord in my apartment and I’m just thinking that the cat is crazy.
Also, the donkey was only doing what a donkey does well … by preserving itself. As stated on Wikepedia.
“Donkeys have a reputation for stubbornness, but this is due to the misinterpretation by some handlers of their highly developed sense of self-preservation. It is difficult to force or scare a donkey into doing something that they consider contrary to their own interest, as opposed to of the horses that are much more willing to, for example, travel on a path with unsafe tread “.
So we know that the Donkey saw something. Without a doubt the Angel of the Lord! 🙂
Then the angel of the LORD stood on a narrow path between two vineyards, with walls on both sides. When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she pressed herself against the wall, crushing Balaam’s foot against it. Then he hit her again. . “
The angel of the Lord must have been protecting as it would look like in a basketball game. Sword and hands all over the place to keep that poor donkey terrified and in position now to hit Balaam’s foot and get hit again too. I say never hit a donkey, and certainly not a female. Maybe it’s only the woman who can speak up and she will if you push her. Mr Ed could talk and I think he was a male so we can assume that being closely related to the donkey, male donkeys can talk too.
Then the angel of the LORD came forward and stopped in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, neither to the right nor to the left. When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam and was angry and struck her with her staff. “
This goes from bad to worse for sure and for the third and final time this extra vibration sensitive donkey takes a good hit and then camel manure hits the fan.
“Then the LORD opened the donkey’s mouth, and she said to Balaam: Hey! Poop for brains!” I’m not kidding, but this must have been my problem with my dog. The Lord had to open Buffy’s mouth to speak to me and I know He wanted to, but I wasn’t getting the Lord’s permission to do so, so at least we’ve cleared up that disappointment from my childhood. The dog was not playing with me. He just didn’t have permission to speak.
“And she said to Balaam,” What have I done to you to make you hit me these three times? “Balaam replied to the donkey,” You have mocked me! “If I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now.” The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden to this day? Am I in the habit of doing this to you?”
Well, there you have it. A talking donkey was no problem for Balaam. He never seems to miss a beat when she starts chatting with him about these attacks. I don’t know about you, but if my Cocker Spaniel had really said anything to me, I would have run into the house screaming and howling and never got close to that dog again! Well, maybe later he would have come back to ask, “what did you say?”, But it would have been really scary to wait for another answer. Balaam just has a great conversation with the animal as if they talked a few hours ago over breakfast.
Then the LORD opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with his drawn sword. Then he leaned over and fell face down. The angel of the LORD asked him, “Why have you hit your donkey at these three times?”
“Oh well, because she didn’t move, she hit my foot against a stone wall and then collapsed. All I was really looking for was an easy ride on this really nice road,” Balaam thought to himself. However, once your eyes are opened to that extra-dimensional vibrational frequency of the Angel of the Lord, it is better to simply say, “I’m sorry.”
“I have come here to oppose you because your way is reckless before me. The donkey saw me and walked away from me these three times. If it hadn’t walked away, it certainly would have killed you by now, but it would. I have. forgiven. ” Balaam said to the angel of the LORD, “I have sinned. I did not realize that you were standing on the road to oppose me. Now if you are upset, I will return.” Numbers 22: 21-35 (VIN) “
“Well at least that explains all of this,” Balaam might have been thinking, but it was wise not to say, although the extradimensional and high frequency Angels of the Lord also know what you are thinking, so you cannot win. Evidently the only thing that saved Balaam from a good beheading was that the donkey could see the angel. Now it doesn’t say that the angel opened the donkey’s eyes, so we can assume that at least all donkeys and probably all animals can actually see these things and can speak. It sure explains a lot about cats.
So Balaam is caught between his talking donkey and a threatening angel. He has nothing left to do but regret it, which he does very well. He mentions, just like we would do to a police officer after he was found, that if he had seen the Angel coming as well, he would have been more careful and respectful. So I personally think that if you don’t see the Angel and neither of your two servants sees it, you are somewhat out of line for the moment. As a minister, we always joke about how God could only get to Balaam by talking up his ass … Balaam is not from God … never mind.
Well what’s the point? The point is that animals can talk … doi. The Bible tells me. They just need permission. We can be sure that when cats meow, dogs bark, snakes sssssssssssssssssssss, and donkeys bray, they are teasing us and playing with our sensibilities. I’m going to look my cat straight in the eye until she snaps and confesses that she has been able to talk the entire time. And when he asks, “So how did you finally find out? I never really told you I could talk.” I’ll be able to say that the Bible betrayed him and all his friends, and things in the apartment will never be the same again.