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If you are reading this article, you are certainly a parent and you are probably frustrated right now with the way you are dealing with your children. This frustration is normal and understandable. All parents make mistakes and it often seems like we are just “feeling our way through this.” However, you are most likely doing a good job with your children and could use some tips or suggestions to improve your parenting skills; a kind of refresher course. Remember, all parents make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from those mistakes.
There are four pillars that form the foundation of good parenting. Think of them as skill sets that you can develop and strengthen with practice:
1. Never be too busy for your child. My dad gave me this advice years ago when my son was born and I have always tried to remember it. I think Dad felt guilty that he might not have been available to me often enough and now he’s sorry because I was older and away from home. It’s important to remember and apply this not only when your kids ask for your time, but to even offer it if they don’t. There is no better gift you can give than to show your love by being available to your child.
2. Appreciate your child. Everyone likes to feel appreciated and their children are no exception. In fact, they need it even more during these formative years as they are building a sense of identity and self-worth. Thank your child for a job well done or a recently completed homework and let him or her know how much you appreciate it. Most children like to please their parents, although it probably doesn’t seem that way at times. Show them that you noticed and appreciate what they have done!
3. Be loving with your child. This one can be difficult for some parents because not all of us are naturally loving. I have no problem kissing and hugging my son and telling him I love him, probably to the point of driving him crazy, but at least he knows how I feel. The point is, don’t assume your kids know how you feel. It is very important to tell them, even if only once in a while, and show them with your actions how much you love them.
Four. Accept your child unconditionally. Your kids will constantly put you to the test, even as they grow older. Sometimes it can be difficult to keep hitting for them. But if your So who will do it? Your children need to know that you love them and that you accept them for who they are without any conditions. This does not mean that you approve or accept all their behaviors or actions, but it is always in their corner.