By 
Tiger Woods, Dr. Benjamin Carson, Oprah Winfrey, and Venus and Serena Williams were born into an American society where more than 40 percent of special education inmates and students share their ethnicity. Many researchers would argue that because of their race or ethnicity, they would face additional psychological and economic hurdles than non-minority people, making it extremely difficult for them to be successful.
Regardless of their chosen profession, what Tiger Woods, Dr. Benjamin Carson, Oprah Winfrey, and Venus and Serena Williams have in common is not their race, money, or level of education; what they have in common is good old-fashioned parenting, down-to-earth and excellent. Most parents would like to believe that there is some kind of magic in raising successful children because it relieves them of the guilt of not giving their children the proper spiritual, psychological and emotional skills they need to be successful in life. What do Beethoven, Thomas Edison, and Sigmund Freud have in common with Tiger Woods, Oprah Winfrey, Venus and Serena Williams, and Dr. Benjamin Carson? You guessed it! Excellent parents. Quality parenting has nothing to do with whether or not a child is raised in a one-parent or two-parent home; What matters most is the ability of parents to instill in their children an impenetrable sense of self-worth, self-respect, and self-love.
Here are the secrets to raising extraordinarily successful children:
Model appropriate behavior
1. Model the behavior you expect from your child. Many parents believe that it is okay to tell their children “do what I tell you and not what I do.” Studies show that if the father smokes, there is a high probability that the child will also smoke. Don’t tell your kids to read when they’ve never seen you pick up a book. Don’t ask your kids to clean your bedroom when your bedroom is messy. I worked in the child welfare system for 13 years helping to reunite families. One of the most important lessons I learned from working with parents whose children were taken from their home due to neglect and / or abuse is that even when parents did not think their children knew they were using illegal drugs, drinking heavily, or having multiples sexual partners; During the family counseling sessions, parents were surprised to learn that their children were always aware of their behavior and viewed them as hypocrites and liars. Do and be all the things you want your children to do and be.
Give them self-esteem
2. Children see themselves through the eyes of their parents. When you smile at them, they feel loved and accepted. Children constantly look you in the eye for approval and validation of their self-worth. Babies are able to detect their parents’ emotions that even the parent is not aware they are emitting, such as anger, guilt, and sadness. If the parent refers to the child as dumb, stupid, or clumsy, this is how the child will perceive himself. Don’t call your child derogatory nicknames because this becomes part of the psychological dictionary of their self-concept. Tell your child how wonderful, smart and intelligent he is. Tell him it’s okay to make mistakes and let him try again. Let the child help you set rules and consequences at home for breaking them. Give them homework. Children, like adults, feel good about themselves when they feel that they are contributing to their own well-being to the best of their ability.
Teach self-discipline
3. Teaching a child to control his own behavior despite his moods or feelings is the best gift a parent can give their child. Self-discipline will give your child the confidence to excel in all areas of his life. Self-discipline is the skill that will help you understand when you have had too much to drink or need enough sleep at night to do well on a test the next day. The secret to teaching self-discipline is coordinating required tasks with enjoyable activities. All children must have a study schedule. A time that is put aside just to do homework. Study time should not conflict with your favorite TV show, sports, or other activities. Your child can reward himself by spending time on his myspace account, talking on the phone, or visiting friends.
Teach critical thinking
4. Teach your children to ask questions, gather facts, and make decisions for themselves from the source of information. When watching cartoons or primetime shows with your children, ask them if they think the show should have ended differently and why. Read stories to your children and ask them if they think the story is plausible or not. Ask your child for their opinion on various topics and ask them to support their answers with evidence. Giving your child the ability to think critically and analyze situations from various perspectives and points of view is the best gift you could give him to live in harmony in a multicultural society. When a child is able to think critically for himself and make rational and sensible decisions; they will be less likely to engage in sexual activity, use illegal substances, or participate in gangs. They will be able to determine if their actions are moving them closer to their life goals or further away from their life goals. Most importantly, they will not make their decisions based on whether they will be caught or punished by the authorities; they will make their decision based on their awareness of what is right and what is wrong. Teach them that greatness is not always about having the right answers or pleasing others; greatness is about asking the important questions and doing the right thing, even when you’re alone.
Sense of purpose
5. Find out what your child is naturally good at and give him as many opportunities as possible to express his natural gifts and talents. Include these activities when you help them do their homework. Study Howard Gardener’s 9 Types of Intelligence and discuss what type of intelligence is best suited to your child. Read facts about learning styles and determine if your child is a left or right brain learner, and how best processes the data in terms of whether the information is auditory, visual, or kinesthetic. Some children do not fit into the standard intelligence mode of society and are labeled as underperforming students. However, these same children may have the gift of building things, painting, drawing, or creating music. It is important for parents to tell their children that they were born with the perfect physical and intellectual gifts and talents to make their dreams come true. Birds were born with wings to fly, not to swim underwater. Let your children know that there is a special place in the world just for them. Teach them to appreciate who they are when no one is looking at them.
Mental toughness
6. We have all heard the saying: “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but the word will never hurt me.” However, we all know that nothing hurts the human soul more than words. I bet you can immediately think of three or more times someone said something to you that hurt you so deeply that you can’t sleep at night. You teach your children to be mentally tough by telling them that the most important person’s opinion of them is yours, and secondly, the opinion of someone who loves them deeply. Tell your child that people with false confidence only believe in themselves when they are winning or when things are going their way. People with true confidence believe in themselves regardless of the outcome because they only focus on the things they can control. Teach them that they cannot control the grade the teacher will give them after a test; they can only control how long they study and how well they prepare before the exam. Teaching a child to be mentally strong is teaching him to focus on the things he can control and to honestly ask himself, “Did I do the best I could?” If they can answer yes. The next question should be: “What can I do differently next time?”
Compassion
7. Compassion is the universal language of feelings, emotions, and morals. Teaching your child about compassion does not always include man-made laws and rules because these laws have created indescribable conditions of human suffering, such as slavery and what happened to the Jews. Teach your children that if they want to know how someone would feel or whether an act is right or wrong, have them ask themselves, “Do I want this to happen to me or someone I love?” Your response will connect you to the sincerest form of compassion that is connected to all of humanity.