By 
I want to go straight to the point. If you suffer from spiritual or emotional wounds, self-help, self-improvement, and self-esteem books, programs, and workshops are a waste of time and money. “Because?” you ask. It’s really simple, because they don’t work! Self-help, self-improvement, and self-esteem books, programs, and workshops focus on one thing; YOU! Let’s be perfectly honest, if you’ve been hurt spiritually or emotionally, YOU are the problem. There’s something wrong with you that needs fixing. Self-help, self-esteem and self-improvement books, workshops and programs will not work to bring you spiritual and emotional healing because it is an attempt by something broken (you) trying to fix itself. A created thing or being (you) can only be repaired by its creator (God).
The first step is to RECOGNIZE the need for healing, be it spiritual or emotional. In order for us to receive healing from spiritual and emotional wounds, we must first acknowledge that we are suffering (Matthew 9:10-13, Revelation 3:17). Many of us have related to ourselves as well as to others. We’ve said, “I’m really fine” or “It really doesn’t matter that much.”
Sometimes the spiritual and emotional wounds are so painful that we develop a case of amnesia. We may not be able to voluntarily remember the event or that moment in our life. In such a case, we may need the help of a compassionate counselor to gently guide us in dealing with our spiritual and emotional wounds.
The second step is to LOCATE the cause of the spiritual and emotional pain. In the natural, we can have pain in the legs, but the cause may be a pinched nerve in the spine. Operating on the legacy would be the wrong procedure. A young person can have serious problems getting along with his peers at school, when the real source of the pain is an abusive stepparent at home. A wife can feel enormous pain every time her husband disciplines one of her children. However, the pain she feels may come from her own spiritual and emotional wounds from her childhood.
We may unconsciously associate one spiritual and emotional pain with another. Also, time itself does not heal spiritual and emotional wounds. Only God does! Therefore, with each new conflict, we collect additional baggage. Therefore, it is important that we locate and separate each spiritually and emotionally painful experience. This is the work of the Holy Spirit (Psalm 139:23-24).
The third step is to CLEAN the wound. If you received a deep wound on your hand and left it open, sooner or later it would become contaminated and infected. The same is true in the spiritual and emotional area. Spiritual and emotional wounds are an open wound for unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, depression and anxiety to enter. The Word implies that we can “give place to the devil” when we are angry for more than a day (Ephesians 4:26-31). Therefore, these critters can be more than just harmful emotions, they can also be evil spirit creatures (Matthew 18:34).
For the cleansing of our spirit and emotions to occur, (1) we must forgive those who have offended us, (2) ask God to forgive and cleanse us (I John 1:9) for our unforgiveness, (3 ) cede that area to the Lord, (4) ask God to restore our soul (Psalm 23:3) in the area ceded to the enemy, and (5) use the name of Jesus to expel the enemy.
The fourth step is RECEIVING HEALING from spiritual or emotional damage. God gives us two different pictures of healing in the Scriptures. One image is that of God calling the enemy (Deuteronomy 7:15). This image is related to cleaning the wound. The other picture is that of mending the net (Exodus 15:26). After the doctor cleans the victim’s wound, he stitches it up so it doesn’t get contaminated again. Forgiveness opens the door to freedom, but forgiveness is not healing. Without us receiving spiritual and emotional healing, the wound becomes contaminated again. However, when God mends the wound, he also heals the wound.
We can receive our spiritual and emotional healing by (1) understanding that Jesus suffered all kinds of spiritual and emotional wounds (Isaiah 53:3) and became a wounded substitute (Isaiah 53:4) for us, and (2) believing that Jesus was sent to heal the brokenhearted (Luke 4:18), and (3) ask in faith for that spiritual or emotional healing. When God heals the wound, we can remember the experience without the pain flooding us.
The fifth step is to STRENGTHEN the weak area. Again, in the natural, the area around the wound may remain weak even after healing occurs. This also applies to spiritual and emotional wounds. The enemy will try to get us to focus our thoughts (II Corinthians 10:4-5) on the event that brought the spiritual or emotional damage. If this happens, we can mentally pinch ourselves in the area until we have opened a new wound.
Therefore, it is essential that we strengthen that area by applying the Word of God. (1) We need to see that God had a purpose in allowing us to be hurt (Genesis 50:20). (2) We need to see that God can work all things for our good (Romans 8:28). (3) We need to come to rejoice in the Lord from the experience (Philippians 4:4). (4) We need to develop and share our testimony with others (Revelation 12:11).