If it were for me

Fifty years ago, I was a teenager. Boy, I miss those old days. Not that I’d like to revive them, but I was a very different person back then.

When I was a teenager, I knew everything, and all you had to do was ask me. Even if you don’t ask me, I’d still tell you what was on my mind. I wish I knew everything today because people ask me questions that I can’t even answer.

A teenager is someone between being a baby and being an adult. I’m sure I don’t want to be a baby, and I’ve had second thoughts about becoming an adult. An adult has all kinds of responsibilities, none of which define the term “let’s have fun.”

One of the wonderful things about being a teenager is that you don’t really know what’s going on in the world. When I was a teenager, television was not the big thing that it is today. And we didn’t have the Internet with all the associated social networks. I could go a whole week and not know what was going on in the world.

If you watched the news on television at night, which I rarely did, in less than 30 minutes they could tell you everything that happens in the world. Now, news needs a 24/7 platform, and even then, they can’t spread all the news.

A characteristic of an adolescent is that he does not know what he does not know. And what they don’t know doesn’t interest them at all. Those were the good old days.

In those days, NEWS meant Nothing worth watching. And I lived by that rule.

Today, however, is a bit different for me. At the end of the day, I like to sit in my easy chair with a nice hot cup of coffee and try to catch up on the news. Catching up on the news is like spilling ketchup on your shirt while eating a hot dog. It’s there, but it disgusts you.

Late last week, I got home from the office, sat in my easy chair with my coffee, and started watching the news. He went from story to story, and it was hard to tell the difference between any of them.

It was almost as entertaining as watching The Three Stooges. The political puppets, however, repeat the same thing over and over again. Before taking office, I think our politicians should sit down and binge watch The Three Stooges for 24 hours. Not that they learned anything, but it could give us 24 hours of peace.

To say that I was getting a little irritated is to put it mildly. It’s not often that I get irritated about anything, but watching the news really irritated me that night. Maybe it was because I had a rough week or something, I’m not sure. But he was irritated.

Finally, the Gracious Mistress of the Parochial House joined me, and I couldn’t hold back anymore.

I took a deep breath, raised my right fist and said, “If it were just up to me, I’d fix that problem. What’s wrong with those stupid politicians?”

When I calmed down a bit, I heard some laughter in the room. I’m not used to hearing laughter in the room, so I didn’t know what was going on. I looked, and wouldn’t you know, it was the Gracious Parsonage Mistress laughing.

“What are you laughing about?”

Looking at me, still laughing, he said, “Are you sure you could fix that problem?”

I wasn’t quite sure what she meant, and at this point I wasn’t going to jeopardize my happiness by asking her to explain what she just said.

I didn’t have to ask him because as he calmed down his laughter, he began to explain why he was laughing. She didn’t want to hear it.

“If you can fix that problem,” he said, still laughing, “I have a list of problems I’d like you to fix.” Saying that, she continued to laugh.

At the time, I didn’t find it worth laughing at, but I realized I’d dug myself a hole that I’m not going to get out of very easily.

Still laughing, he continued, “Which problem would you like to start with? You can choose whatever you want.”

Trying to smile as best I could, which at the time was quite tricky, I said, “I was just speaking in parentheses. I’m just a little upset that our politicians don’t do the job they say they’re going to do.” make.”

“Okay, and I get it,” my wife said, “now you can lead by example by taking this list and starting to fix problem after problem.”

That’s why I’m very careful what I say out loud. There is always someone listening.

As we sat there, I remembered what the wise King Solomon once said. “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking; but he who restrains his lips is wise” (Proverbs 10:19).

Solomon had more wives than I can count, and perhaps that is why he came to this wonderful piece of wisdom. It’s easy to say something, but once you do it, you can never get rid of it.